One year ago I lost my baby.

In February of 2005, I found out that I was pregnant. The shock and surprise!!! I was scared at first, but then very happy and excited. Everything was going well in my pregnancy until that dreadful news. I had been to the doctor at 15 wks and everything was fine. I heard the heartbeat (for the 2nd time). At 19 wks, I went again. The doctor was not able to find the heartbeat. We then went to the ultrasound room and that’s when he knew. I then had to go to the hospital for a second ultrasound to confirm what the doctor had said. Getting an ultrasound to confirm that my baby was dead was absolutely horrible. My boyfriend (who is now my fiancé) was at work and I wasn’t able to get a hold of him.

I found all of this news out on a Tuesday, I decided to get induced on Thursday. We went to the hospital and I was induced with cytotec. I can’t describe how I felt knowing I had to deliver a baby that was not living. The baby was born on Friday at 3:58 p.m.

My fiancé and mother were with my through this whole ordeal. I had so much support from everyone I knew. After delivering my precious little “peanut,” it was obvious that it was a cord accident. The entire cord was twisted and kinked. Peanut just moved around in my too much.

We had the baby buried on my grandfather. Sometimes it is really tough. That was my first pregnancy. I want children so badly. I guess my baby was so special that God wanted Peanut with Him. I know that “it” will happen when He wants it happen. But until then, I just try to live my life. Some moments or days are very rough, but others are fine.

After this happened, I started researching. I discovered God’s Tiny Angels and Pain-Heartache-Hope websites. These 2 websites helped me cope with my loss. I’m still coping. I discovered that October 15 is Remembrance Day. October 15, 2005 was my due date. On that day I “Walked to Remember.”

In Loving Memory,

Baby Devericks

May 27, 2005


You are not forgotten!!